A Nun in the Wild

I entered a Theravada (Buddhist) Monastery in order to become a nun.

A good friend told me: “You are crazy, you will find it is the same inside the monastery as outside. As modern woman we can be nuns without monasteries.”

She was right. Also in monasteries you will find greed, hatred and delusion.  In Buddhist monasteries monks reign and nuns follow. In some countries women cannot even become nuns. Most monks like it this way. I heard an Australian Theravada monk explain to a Shri Lankan woman how women, burdened by child bearing, cannot reach Nirvana during this life time, but men can. The same monk called my teacher a ‘soup kitchen nun’. Needless to say that my teacher is a thousand times wiser than this foolish monk. Listening to this monks nonsensical preaching became my lesson in patience while I was in the monastery. To all monks who preach sexist nonsense I say: Shame on you.

They will reply: it is the Buddha who said it.

To which I reply: The words of the Buddha were written down only 500 years after he spoke them. By monks. Monks had an agenda by then. Go and figure…

It is for this reason that I chose to be a nun in the wild. Giving up everything is a thing I can deal with. Becoming dependent on the whims of monks I cannot deal with. The monastery was peaceful, silent and beautiful. The nuns who inhabited and visited it were fascinating, strong woman. The monastic rules were so bizarre that they were funny or intriguing. I loved it. I dreaded to leave it. But I had to if I were to remain true to myself.

And for this very same reason I will use the word “she” when I write about meditators, although men can be good meditators too.

This is a practical guide for meditators; beginning, intermediate or advanced, women and men alike.

It is a trip toward what in Buddhism is called enlightenment. It is a stepping off a shore into a boat and encountering all sorts of weather. If and when we survive this weather we eventually reach “the other shore”. The shore of wisdom; the shore of enlightenment. Like all journeys over water the going can be tough, at other times it is smooth sailing, some arrive and others get lost forever.

Enlightenment is a word that is much abused. Enlightenment, however, is in fact a very simple concept. Enlightenment lays dormant in all of us.

When we peel, in meditation (aware and mindful of what we are doing), greed, hatred and delusion, layer after layer, from our psyche, while we cultivate generosity, loving-kindness and truth seeking, what we are left with is enlightenment.

After meditation a generous, kind, wise being arises from the ashes of greed, hatred and delusion. Such a person can easily be recognized by an inner glow. It feels good to be around such a person. Such a person is skillful and relaxed. I have met such persons. I want to become like them. That’s why I meditate.

* meditator is not a word; it is invented by me
** the friend is Victoria Whitelaw, a kickass criminal lawyer