Loving-kindness revisited

Yesterday I had a student. One. That's enough. We had a beautiful hour exploring ways into flow. Our subject was loving-kindness as a counter-weight to hatred. Especially self-hatred. When we have traces of self-hatred we have traces of hatred for others. The bigger our self-hatred, the bigger our hatred for others. They go hand in hand inseparable, like some spooky Siamese set of twins.

Self-hatred and Hatred

Thus we have send ourselves loving-kindness before we can send it to others. We must accept ourselves exactly as we are in that moment. Only then we accept others. This was deeply understood by my student. 

Deep understanding in students is marvelous because it feeds my own understanding. To be together in the beautiful, sacred space of the yoga studio for an hour spending our time on the contemplation of loving-kindness is a privilege. It is time well spent. It filled us both with wonder and we were grateful. 

The champion speaker on loving-kindness was Ayya Khema. In her precise German accented English she said for example this:

Loving-Kindness Meditation - Best Friend

A guided meditation by Ven. Ayya Khema

Please put the attention on the breath for just a few moments.
Think of yourself as your own best friend; the one you can rely on to help you, to make you happy, to know what is best for you, who loves you. Feel yourself embraced by that friendship.
Think of yourself as the best friend of the person sitting nearest you in this room. Fill him / her with your helpfulness, your care, your concern, be at that person's disposal. Fill him / her with the sincerity of your friendship and embrace him / her with your love.
Embrace everyone who is present with your friendship and love. Fill everyone with your wish to help, your care and concern for their well-being. Feel that friendship and let it flow into each person's heart.
Think of yourself as the best friend of your parents, whether they're still alive or not. Fill them with the sincerity of your friendship, your gratitude, your wish to help, your care and concern. Embrace them with your love.
Be the best friend of those who are nearest and dearest to you. Be at their disposal to help and to support. Fill them with your friendship. Surround them with your love.
Let all your good friends arise before your mind's eye. Be their best friend. Fill them with your friendship, with your sincerity, your gratitude that you have them as your friends, your care and concern for them. Embrace them with your love.
Let all the people who are part of your daily life arise before your mind's eye. People at work, neighbours, acquaintances, relatives, salespeople, the postman, those you meet on the street, or on your travels. Be their best friend, caring and concerned, willing to help. Fill them from head to toe with your friendship. Surround and embrace them with your love.
Think of any one person, whom you may not like very much, have difficulties with or towards whom you feel totally indifferent. Be a best friend for that person also, taking him or her into your heart, making no separations between people. Fill him or her with your friendship. Surround him or her with your love.
Now open your heart as wide as you can and let friendship and love flow out of it to people near and far, first to those who may be in these buildings, then to the people in the houses around here and then to people in the whole town. Just let it flow. Let the wind of your breath carry friendship and love, togetherness, care and concern to as many people as possible, knowing that only then we can live together harmoniously. Go to towns further afield, small, medium and large, wherever people can be found. Let your own love and friendship roam as far afield as the strength of your heart and the strength of your friendship will reach, so that you can touch the hearts of others.
Now put your attention back on yourself and recognize the beauty and the harmony of friendship and love, and fill yourself with friendship for yourself. Embrace yourself with love, feeling clear and protected and at ease.
May all beings be friends with each other.

a young Ayya Khema